Good morning! Today will be a good day. . .
Ever wonder why that lady next door has so many cats? How about the lady down the street that has three large dogs in her small house. . .(well, that would be me). What about the ladies we all know that just throw themselves into every craft they can teach themselves. . .(well, that would be me, too!
Pets offer a love and trust that can only be fully appreciated by someone with mental health issues. The love of a dog is unconditional. . .and they will never let you down. The amount of love and attention you pay to a dog is returned three-fold, something the humans in my life haven't been able to give me. I find a calmness when I am anxious, happiness when depressed, and a general feeling of 'it will be okay' when I'm feeling lost and lonely.
Crafts. . .ah, my own little place is my studio. It is bright, calm, and full of fun and promises of beauty! I had a career designing publications at a local university that lasted more than 20 years. When budget cuts hit, I was among the first to have my position eliminated. Wow, the bottom fell out from under me in a very big way. So, I 'reunited' with the crafts I had fiddled with over the years, but it wasn't 'new' and 'exciting', which so many of us need. It was at this time I taught myself to make jewelry. . .and I have found a streak of beauty inside of me that is absolutely breathtaking.
I've read somewhere that when women go the The Change, they often develop a love of a craft. . .be it photography, painting, or making one-of-a-kind jewelry (that's me, too!) The compliments I receive are much like 'mommy pats on the back' so to speak. Many of us with BPD don't have a mother bond. . .so I will always be searching for something to fill my hole of insecurity.
I have always had dogs, and have always crafted. I crochet and sew. I know how to knit but don't like it as much as I do crochet. I've even won 'Best of Show' with my crochet at a local county fair. That was a huge 'atta girl'!!
In my small house, this 'crazy dog lady' has learned to appreciate what life offers in the NOW. I've had to remove things from my life that I love very much, simply to survive and be free of as much PTSD as possible. This includes my own sister, whom I went through every step of my tortured childhood with.
Trying to find a better mental health? Bored and depressed? Try your hand at painting or drawing or writing. . .and rescue a dog from the local shelter. Two of our three dogs are shelter dogs and are very very appreciative of a good life, just as I feel now. We've rescued a Swiss Mountain Dog mix and a yellow lab. We also have a rottweiler. . .and he's the gentlest giant that has ever lived.
I don't trust very many people; they've constantly let me down. I've had three evil mothers and a dad who watched the abuse and didn't do much. I've always idolized my father, but The Change has taught me that he is just as guilty of the abuse as the women who dished it out. My dogs are happy, and my jewelry is beautiful.
Today is going to be a good day!